New Year, Old Perspective

Surprise! I'm back. And in January, no less. How very predictable. It is, after all, the time when we double down on becoming the magical beings we aspire to be. 

This time, however, I didn't make a plan to get back on the keyboard wagon and share my life's story. What happened was this: I was inundated with blasts to my inbox and alerts to my phone of what I need to do to kick the shit out of 2018. They overwhelmed me. And sitting at my desk in the office today, I wondered if I was the only one overwhelmed by it all. So I did what I haven't done in a long time: I decided to do something with that wonder. I whipped out a post-it note, jotted down "Blog Topic: Overload of Resolution and Goal Setting Advice", shoved it in my bag and here we are.

I didn't make an exhaustive list of resolutions this year, in fact, I've made no list at all — despite the best efforts of seemingly every media outlet on earth to enlighten me on how to do so. I mean, do I want to be my BestSelf? You bet! Do I fancy myself the Matthew McConaughey character in the movie of my life with a never-ending tenure in The School of Life? Heck yeah. But, with so many ways to do it RIGHT, my instincts are to hide and not try to do it at all.*

And yet, here I am. Trying something. Again. Surprising even myself. The truth is, I desperately need creative outlets. I need to remember who I am and what I'm good. More importantly, I need to do something about it. I need, what my coach and friend of many years Sara reminded me of today: Purpose. Have you seen mine?

I, along with the masses of other Instagram devotees, posted my Best Nine of the past year and I was only in one of them. ONE. Seven of them featured the boy. And even the one of me barely features my face. (My body is blocked. By the boy, of course.) To be clear, I am not someone who likes to take photos of myself — or have photos of me taken (much to my mother's chagrin) — but every now and again, it's nice to look back and be reminded of where we've been, what we've done. Physical evidence of our existence and our impact on the world (preferably good, but whatever.)

I used to be interesting. I used to be funny. I used to be creative. I used to let my kid take pictures of me with his Polaroid Snap and when the prints poured of the little white box, take a peek and think to myself that maybe, just maybe, I even I looked all these things.

Maybe my New Year's Resolution for 2018 should be to meander my way back from used to be to am. Will you join me?

* Lucky for me, my bestie Nicci gifted me a fancy little Habit Calendar — so easy to use, the hard work is almost entirely done for me!